Paranoia

I am so angry at myself right now. I feel that I've abused my status as the boss' niece today and because of that, I had inadvertently made somebody displeased with the whole situation. I am now currently at home and guess what the time is now? Yup, it's only 5 plus in the evening, when I should still be at work cause work only finishes at 6! Because of paranoia going on in the whole of Penang, I'm now back at home, venting all out right now.

Because of yesterday's tsunami that had landed in Penang and caused the death toll to reach 38, a lot of Penangites are now in a state of paranoia. Early this morning, I've been receiving sms-es warning people not to use the Penang bridge between 7-8pm for fear of a 2nd tsunami happening as a result of the aftershock earthquake that caused disaster everywhere in Asia yesterday. I was pretty sceptic about the whole news because if there's an issued warning on the usage of the bridge, why isn't there a warning on the usage of the ferry? Wouldn't people taking the ferry be at higher risk than those using the bridge if there's gonna be another 10 metre high wave coming towards Penang island? Despite my own sceptism and my own intuition telling me that the news are false, I let my Mum's and my bf's paranoia get the better of me.

My bf's been calling the whole day, telling me about the news and updating me about it. Yet, I still feel apprehensive. I kept asking him to verify the news by watching Astro or listening to the radio but he prefers to listen to what his relatives has to say. Yes, I know they care about me, that they all worry about me. But I can't help feeling that sometimes, they jump into conclusions before getting the whole truth. They kept saying they heard it from Astro, but when I question them from which channel in Astro did they heard the news from, they said they don't know. I think it's just word by mouth that got everybody here in Penang so paranoid about the whole thing.

Because of my Mum's insistence for me to go home soon (news was that the Penang bridge would be closing soon from 4-5 pm til the next morning), I asked for my superior's permission to go home early. Unfortunately, he said the news were false and did not allow me to go home early. I was in a state of blurness then because I didn't know what to do. A part of me tells me that the news are false too, yet a part of me tells me that I should appease my Mum. In the end, I thought of a brilliant idea (which turns out to be not so brilliant after all) and called Aunty Sandy to asked if she's home so that she can verify the news for me through Astro. Unfortunately, Aunty Sandy's not at home and so I told her the whole story. She said she'll call my Uncle Andrew and asked him if I could go home early (I'm currently working in Uncle Andrew's company). Few minutes later, she called back to say that Uncle Andrew's partner said that I could go home early and asked to speak to my superior so that she can tell him herself to allow me to go home. After taking that call from me, my superior's face showed that he was not happy about the whole thing but he does not have any choice because I'm the boss' niece and the boss' wife said that I could go home early. I felt so bad because part of believes that the news are not true too. My colleagues all encouraged me to go home early, because according to them, prevention is better than cure. In this case, the news might be true after all. In the end, I left the office early, despite the unhappy face that my superior showed me.

When I reached the junction turning into the bridge, I got really mad! There, up on the board in green, is the message, "Jambatan dibuka seperti biasa". In English, it means that the bridge is open as usual. There's no closure whatsoever!! I really felt like turning back to the office right there and then but a phone conversation with my bf made me continued my way back home. I was really angry at myself for not trusting my instinct! In fact, I'm still angry at myself now. If the news really do turn out to be false, I'll be too embarrassed to face my superior tomorrow. Argh!!!!!!!!!

*goes off to scream*