Eating Disorder

It all came to me in a jolt. I realised that I've been experiencing eating disorder lately. Not the serious type of disorder where I become bulimic or obese, no, no, it's not that kind. For the past few weeks, I find myself gradually losing my appetite, eating less and less. It even came to the extent where I only have one meal a day. *cringes* I know it's not healthy but I've never realised it until a moment ago. I don't know when it started, all these eating disorders but it came sort of like a revelation to me.

It started happening a few weeks back when I did not feel like taking rice at all, instead opting just to take dishes without the usual accompanying rice. For a normal Malaysian who's used to taking rice everyday, they would definitely not feel full after a meal without rice or noodles. But in my case, I was quite contented and felt full throughout the day until the next meal, which I repeated by taking the dishes of meat and vegetables without rice. From the habit of excluding rice, I graduated to eating only a meal a day. And I did not even feel hungry at all throughout the day after that. I ate everyday around 2-3pm without breakfast and come dinner, I still do not have the appetite to eat, worst, I don't even feel hungry, and throughout the whole night, there were never hunger pangs at all. None whatsoever even though I sleep at 3-4 in the morning.

It went on for quite a while until today that is. Today, I felt hunger, in fact, I was ravenous! I had lunch at 2pm and later on, I had 2 big buns at 7pm. It did not end there at all. By 10pm, I was munching on cookie bites and somewhere after midnight, I found myself cooking eggs and sausages, a perfect English breakfast minus the bacons. Considering the time gap, it will be pretty normal to eat like that, but to me, it's not. I felt myself eating like a glutton today. And boy, can I feel all the fat and cholestrol building up in my body right now. Urgh! >_<
I'll try to go back to eating normally starting tomorrow. With a glass of milk for breakfast followed by a proper lunch and dinner. Hopefully, I'll be able to do it. *sigh*