Angry, angry, angry...

With finals still going on and loads of studying to do, with one final assignment to accomplish before the end of the semester really ends, life sure sucks! It’s not all about studies, it’s about some personal issues too.
I’ve realised that guys my age sure do not act like they’re 21. In fact, their mentality is still of that like a kid even though they look and sound like adults. When you say something that hits spot on on the bull’s eyes about them, they’ll turn around and accuse you of painting an ugly picture of them, of how innocent they were, of how they were actually offering plain, platonic friendship but you read it the wrong way.

If all these sound confusing, stay on as I slowly paint the ‘ugly’ picture out.

I’ve been good friends with AR for several years now. I’ve always, ALWAYS treated him as a good friend. Even though he assured me several times over the course of our friendship that he treats me as a good friend too, it sure feels more to it. Let’s call it a woman’s intuition. Sure, he has helped me loads even though I’ve never asked him for any help. But his actions have always made me feel very, VERY uncomfortable. For goodness sake, for somebody who has a number of good male friends, I know how to differentiate between platonic treatment and more than platonic treatment. And the way AR treats me is definitely more than for platonic purposes. I though I was being paranoid at first and just kept quiet to myself, but as time passes by, and his actions made me even more uncomfortable, I told friends the entire story and question them for their opinions. What they told me just confirm my suspicions. Even a guy like AG told me the same thing any girl would tell me, that it’s more than platonic.

So what’s a girl got to do? I don’t like confrontation, so I took the cowardly way out, which I admit I’m quite ashamed of. I started avoiding him. Avoiding his calls, avoiding his SMSes, just plain avoiding him. After several weeks (or months) of avoiding, he sent a SMS this afternoon and asked what’s wrong, if he did something wrong, and that if he’s bugging me, he’ll stop bugging me. Not wanting to act like a cold, heartless bitch, I decided to send him a message through Friendster and explain. After reading my message, this is what he said to me through SMS.

"…what I was trying to do was offering real friendship to you without any strings attached. That’s all. I was never interested to going into anything more. I can’t believe you paint me as a dishonest person. I only wanted to be a good friend and have one in return. Looks like good friends don’t exist anymore. My honest intentions were thought of otherwise. Thanks for this eye opener. What I have thought about you was damn wrong. You read me in all the wrong ways. Guess this so called friendship is ended…"

It all sounded like he was defending himself. I knew he would. I knew long before I told him the truth that he would deny everything and defend himself. I mean which guy wouldn’t right? He already has a girlfriend but still obviously show more than friendship’s interest in another girl. And the fact that he doesn’t tell his girlfriend that he’s out with me is another proven point. There was once when we were out for coffee when his girlfriend called, and guess what he did? He went to the loo and took the call there, obviously telling his girl some kind of exaggerated story about how he got caught up in work or something like that. And his girlfriend dislikes me, practically hates me even though we’ve only met twice or thrice. His girlfriend knows that I’m not available anymore; that I’m only treating AR as a friend, yet after so many years, his girl still hates me. Obviously, she must be suspicious of him about me.

To cut a long story short, AR is acting like a small little boy who’s kicking back at the stone that made him fall, metaphorically that is. He knew that what I said was true, and he denied it, while trying to guilt trip me into thinking that he was misunderstood. Maybe he was. Maybe I am misunderstanding him, but after months of analysis, plus my intuition, I know that I am right and that he’s making me feel guilty. Never underestimate a women’s intuition.

If he wants to end the friendship, then fine. I have nothing else to say.