Feeling under the weather

I don't know what's wrong with me lately. I've been feeling very dizzy lately and at frequent intervals too. Each time I got up from bed or from wherever that I was laying down or even when I got up from my seat, a wave of dizziness will envelop me and I had to stop and stay rooted at the same spot for quite some time before the dizziness go away and I am able to move around. I did not think much about this til a while ago. It definitely got a tirade of questions going off in my mind. Whether I was sick or something? Am I dying from tumour? Is it because of I'm a little anaemic? I know it's pretty hysterical thoughts but I can't help feeling worried.

Besides these bouts of dizziness, I've been suffering from gastric for the past two weeks that I'm back in BM. I didn't think much at the beginning because I'm just used to the dull pain in my stomach but for the past week, the pain was really intense and I keep feeling nausea all the time. There were even times when I nearly vomitted whatever I ate and I just lost all appetite throughout the whole day. I didn't want to see the doctor because I have my own gastric medicine, western and eastern type. You just name it. But since none of it is doing much help, I finally went to the doctor's on Friday and told him what happened to me. The weird thing was, the doctor did not even touch me to determine if whatever I told him is because of gastric or not. He just listened to whatever I had to say and immediately pescribed some tablets to take away my gastric. Some kind of a doctor! Hmph! But I guess he did refer to my old records that indicate I have a long history of gastric problems since young.

Because of gastric, I am not allowed to eat any spicy or oily food. And I feel very, very disappointed at both thoughts. Penang is a food heaven and all the good food here is both spicy and oily or contains high level of either one. I can't eat my favourite food! No doubt KL has all sorts of Penang food but it definitely can do much better in the level of standards because it doesn't taste like Penang food at all. *dreamy look on face* I've been having a lot of food cravings lately. Basically, cravings for Laksa, Nasi Lemak, Curry Mee, Dim Sum, etc. All are authentic Penang food that taste their best when eaten in Penang and for a Penangite such as me who has grown up eating nothing but delicious food, this is really, very torturous. I can only stare and smell the aroma of these food when I'm eating outside with my Mum and my Granny but I can't touch any of it!! *wails and whines* Serves me right for getting gastric at the wrong time and the wrong place. ><

Other than being dizzy and having gastric, another worrying problem that constantly fills my mind is my period. It's more than two weeks late now. Meaning the cycle has exceed 45 days, the max days that I've only experience once in my whole entire life. There's a constant fear at the back of my mind and it's the fear of getting pregnant. I can't afford to get pregnant now! I just can't! I still have my studies to complete. I still have so much goals in life that I want to achieve or at least experience before I get tied down by the responsiblity of having a family, of being a mother. I can't even go out and get home pregnancy kits because the nearest pharmacy is located in downtown where parking slots are nearly impossible to get. And the fear of being recognized by people who knows my Mum and my Granny is forever haunting me. Each day passes by with the hope of getting my period. Each day passes with the joy I will feel when I have my period. *sighs* And the worst part was my Mum keep asking me if my period's arrived yet. I have the worst feeling that she suspects something's amiss. ^_~ Oh well, I'll just see how things go before I go into hysterical mode. -_-