Disappointment

The word 'disappointment' has a thousand meanings. A person can feel disappointment any time of the day at any place. Anybody can feel disappointment be it young or old. And I'm definitely feeling very disappointed right now. I'm disappointed at my uncle. He's not my mother's brother, rather my mother's cousin brother.

My maternal family tree is a rather confused and entangled family tree. My great-grandparents had 2 children; a son and a daughter. The son, my granduncle, had 3 wives. Yup, 3 freaking wives. The first wife had a daughter, my first aunt. The second wife had 2 daughters, my second aunt and my Godma, while the third wife had 3 daughters. Coming from an old, superstitious Chinese family, it is crucial that my granduncle at least have a son. But since all 3 wives are unable to bear him a son, he adopted a baby boy as the last resort. That baby boy grew up to my uncle. Needless to say, he was the apple in everybody's eyes. My great-grandparents daugher, which is my Granny, had only one child, my Mum.

Even though my uncle was the only male in the family, his parents doesn't want to take care of him. I think my third grandaunt is just too lazy to take on any more responsiblity in raising children. And who took care of him since young til the day he got married? My Granny. She single handedly brought him up, care for him, love him. Right up to the extend of ignoring my Mum at points. My Mum, her only child, was ignored because she was busy paying too much attention to my uncle. But did my Mum ever complain? Maybe she did when she was young, but after she grew up, she understood that my Granny is still living by the ways of the olden time and tried to accept my Granny's characteristics on her different ways to show that she loves us. My Mum did not utter a single word against my uncle instead choosing to love his children like her own.

I'm disappointed with my uncle because after all the love and care my Granny gave him, he became the prodigal child after he got married and do not care much for my Granny any longer. And still, my Granny persisted on to love him and care for him. Sometimes, it was so obvious that I felt my uncle was being unfair towards her and also taking advantage of her at times. My Granny is now weak, very weak. My Mum testified that she's a big more stronger now compared to the last few weeks but to me, she's still very weak. All my aunts, my Mum's cousin sisters from all over Malaysia make it a point to see my Granny, to ask about her health, to care for her. How is it possible for them, my aunts, who are not in BM, to make an effort to care and be concern about my Granny's welfare and it is not possible for my uncle, who happens to stay in BM too, to be concern about her health and her welfare? After all the sweat and tears she sacrifice to bring him up, is this the correct way to repay her? I don't think so.

The more I think of it, the more pissed off I am at my uncle. And the worst part is, I can't do or say anything to him. Because in Chinese customs, it's rude to answer back or talk without respect to your elders. How can he be such a prodigal newphew? At least his first born, my cousin brother who happens to be ONLY 14, is more caring towards my Granny. When my Mum told my cousin, Daniel, that she's very, very worried about my Granny, he actually told my Mum that it is so unfortunate that he's only 14 and he couldn't ride a motorcycle yet. Or else he would come every afternoon to check on her when Mum's at work. Now, isn't that thoughtful of him? I feel that my uncle should be ashamed of himself for the fact that his son, his FOURTEEN year old son, is more concern about my Granny than he is. All the love and care that my Granny gave my uncle just went down the drain the day he stop caring for her as much as he used to. He never visits every week. He only comes for a visit when it's convenient to him or when he felt like it. I just feel that he is not showing enough love towards my Granny instead chossing to focus all that on his in-laws.

Maybe it's the way I was brought up. I believe that we should always repay those people who brought us up, who cared for us, who loved us, who will go to the end of the world for us. These people are none other than your own mother, your family. For me, these people are my Mum and my Granny. Both of them work very hard to provide me with a happy childhood and made sure that I have adequate food, love and care to last me my whole life. Now that I'm going to turn 21 soon, I've learn to repay their kindness towards me by loving them even more, by caring for them, by doing little things that might meant nothing at the beginning but adds up to a lot at the end of the day. I learn to be more filial, to be more respectful. If I could think of all these to repay their kindness, why can't my uncle think the same way? Why must he do everything at his convenience rather than doing things because he really meant it? It is so difficult to repay and be filial to a woman who brought him up and made him what he is today; a successful businessman?

The really odd thing is both me and my uncle are brought up by the same person - my Granny. And we're different as night and day. I would have thought that we would at least have some similar thinking when it comes to being filial but apparently I'm not. I just hope for my Granny's sake that my uncle would try to be as filial to her as possible before she passes on. Because even to this day, she will find no fault in him and thinks him perfect no matter how much imperfection he has. Maybe it was wrong of me to think that we would somehow think in a similar way in the first place. I don't know. I'm just too tired to think of these anymore. Somehow or other, all these matters seem a little trivial compared to what is going on in the world.