Freaking video clip

This is my first time in blogging. I only learned about blogging from my lecturer, Mabel, when I started my degree course this year. Mabel is not only one rock-a-chick babe of a lecturer, she's also a good friend that I really cherished.

Yesterday was a nightmare for me. I barely had 4 hours of sleep the previous night and I got to stay in college the whole day because some people in my group are just too irresponsible to stay and finish up the work that they are suppose to. We have a video clip to complete which my lecturer's gonna screen on Friday. The problem is, those who are in charge of transferring the files of the shoots we took use the wrong format to transfer and the end result of the video is only shown on one tiny part of the tv. So...we have to go back to college and try to enlarge the whole video clip and fix up some problems that the initial video clip had. Now, I'm the so-called producer for the whole shoot. That means, I'm also supposedly to be in charge of the editing. I sure don't know how to edit stuff for screen but I will learn all things that needed to be use. Problem was, some people in the group insist that they be on the editing team and that I don't need to worry myself for editing. Okaayyy....fine...at least that was what I thought. They handled the first editing, well, sort of, more like they asked another person to help them edit. Anyway, they did the first editing and the whole thing was just too small for the tv. And so, we risked the idea that we have to shoot the whole video clip again. Thank GOd, some guy came in to help us enlarge the thing, thus we do not need to reshoot the freaking video clip. But those who were in the editing team were not around cause they are under a tight deadline to finish a take home exam which they were suppose to finish the night before since knowing that they have to come in that day to redo the editing part. But no...off they went to the other labs in the college to finish their take home essay and I'm left with the guy and a few other people in the group who incidentally were not in charge of the editing part too. Irresponsible? YUP! Definitely is. So, the few people left to care for the editing is me, the director, the original editor who did not even take the freaking subject and the only guy in our group. Now, the director is suppose to stay and make sure that everything is ok before she left right? But no....she told me that she has to go do some grocery shopping in some mall because she ran out of food to eat at home. So fine, nursing an empty stomach is quite important and I'm actually quite ok with the whole fact until she said, "I might go catch a movie after my grocery shopping, I'm thinking of watching Shrek 2". Now, that really makes my blood boil. FOr Christ's sake, I barely had 4 hours of sleep to boot and I've been sleeping less than 5 hours every night because I was trying to finish my assignments, I'm NOT even in charge on the whole freaking editing thing and I'm NOT the DIRECTOR!! She should stay back and make sure that everything is fine before she left, not me! But once again, I just kept quiet and let people push me around. And I had to stayed til 5 something in the evening while everybody around me gets to go home early. I was practically floating around in the air the whole day yesterday but does anybody care? Hell, no!

Andrew, one of my good friends around were kind enough to wait for me to finish up the whole thing just so he could fetch me back when he could have gone home much earlier and avoid the usual peak hour jam. I was ranting and raving to him and his friends about the whole thing and he was using some not so nice names to call my group members. I was telling him not to do so because I'm just pissed off and ranting about things when he said, "Grace, you're just too nice to people. That's why they always push you around. Like today, they pushed you around and yet, you still make excuses for them to push you around." That got me stop my protest in mid-air and I started thinking. Maybe what he said is quite true. I tend to want to please people and not think about myself. If I feel that I treat somebody badly even though if that person deserves it, I'll feel bad later on and there will be a heavy burden in me. I'm just born to be so and even though some people appreciate me for who I am, some just take advantage of it and step all over my head just so that they can have their things done. *Sigh* I don't know what I'm going to do next and no matter how many times I told myself not to be nice to people anymore or not to allow people to push me around, I still tend to let my guard down before I realize that people are using me again. Unless I can really change, I think I will always be pushed around, be it in college or at work next time.

Well, time to have my dinner now. I still have an exam to study for tomorrow. I'll come back here the next time when I have something to say.